Jason Peter Todd was 6 years old the first time he hurt another human being. 

The man was inbetween him and the food he needed to steal to keep his druggie mother alive, and Jason wasn’t going to let a 5’11” old man stop him from helping his mommy. The man, Tom, was a security guard at the corner store, working nights. He always let Jason in by himself, when his mother was on a bender. 

This night was different. He didn’t have any money this time. The grocery money had been spent for the last two weeks, courtesy of Ms. Todd. Gone, to satisfy her fix. Jason had been left to fend for himself, as he so often was. 
And that brought him to the corner store at half past eleven o’clock on a cool autumn night, penniless and hungry. Tom nodded his head at the approach of the roughshod boy, knowing all too well that he had to shoulder more than any child should.

Beans, bread, milk, turkey slices, and gourmet cheeses-these and more went into his basket. He didn’t have to skimp on the good stuff this time. He knew he was going to steal it. For the first time in his life, Jay picked the name brand products, the things he’d only ever seen, not tasted.

He was barely able to lift the handbasket after he was done. Tom was waiting behind the register, frowning at the child’s payload. “You sure you can pay for this, son?” Dark eyes looked up at him. “I’ve got it, mister.” With that, he was headed towards the door. Tom called after him, unsure how to handle the situation. 

Jason took this opportunity to walk through the automatic doors, moving as fast as his small frame could carry him. He heard Tom following after him, knew he’d have to act. Dropping the basket, he swiveled and brought his pocketknife up and around, catching the older man in the thigh. He twisted it around three times before pulling it out, picking up his stolen food before hurrying back to the apartment his mother was two months behind the rent on. 

The door swung open on loose hinges.

The smell hit him first. Vomit. Fresh. This wasn’t that unusual; Catherine Todd had overdosed enough times to be in the Guinness World Records book. With a lump in his throat, Jason opened the refrigerator, placing all of the precious foods inside with a loving hand, knowing that it would have to last for a long time. 

After the last items were safe in their homes, he went to take care of his mother. She was in the bathtub, naked. Vomit caked her pale skin. A blue tint covered her lips and eyes. 

“Mommy, wake up.” Jason shook her shoulder. “Mommy, I got us food. You need to eat. You’re sick again.” She didn’t move. 

With a stretch and a jump, Jason grabbed the shower wand, turning the water to hotter than he usually did. He washed her hair and body, rinsing the contents of her stomach off of her mottled skin. 

She still didn’t move. “Mommy, you need to get up. You gotta eat, you gotta!” He shook her more violently this time. She felt cold, even after the hot shower. 
Jason began to cry.

“Mommy, please, I got you food. I had to hurt Tom, he wasn’t gonna let me go with all the food I got. Mommy, please!”

Tears fell down his small face, splashing on her skin as he held her. She wasn’t breathing. 

He knew not to call the ambulance. He had done that when he was four, and she had yelled at him for it. “Too expensive,” she had said. “You can’t trust the hospital, Jason. They’re greedy whores. You gotta trust Mommy to take care of herself when she’s sick.”

He shook her one last time, knowing that she wasn’t going to wake up this time.

“Mommy, I’m sorry I couldn’t take better care of you. I love you, Mommy.”
He stood, his eyes red with tears. Walking to the kitchen, he forced himself to eat, though he wasn’t hungry. As he ate, a new emotion filled his young heart.

Anger.
Anger that he couldn’t save his mother.
Anger that he couldn’t keep Tom from getting hurt. 
Anger that he was unable to control what happened to him after this.
Anger that he was too weak to make a difference. 

He promised himself that he’d never fail again. That’d he grow up big and strong, and make sure that none of the nasty pill men that his mommy always had around would ever bother people again. 

He cried his last tears that night, alone on the kitchen floor. 
The next morning, he wrapped his mommy on her favorite blanket, and shut the door. He knew he’d have to stay at the apartment until the nasty landman came to collect rent. He could live off the food he’d stolen for a week or so. Then, he’d have to leave.

He didn’t know where this new feeling would take him. All Jason knew was that he’d never, ever be vulnerable again.